RANT OF THE WEEK: Stop Being Basic!

I have to rant about the elephant in the room.

That elephant, of course, would be the “Basic Bitch.”

Unless you have been living under a rock, chances are you have heard someone referenced as one. I, myself, have been called one on numerous occasions. As expected, I blew a gasket. A basic bitch is a term that refers to women who are fake and love things that are mainstream. Rappers and comedians have insinuated that women that fall into this category are not only shallow and attempting to buy their social status, but just like things because others do.

This. Freaking. Annoys. Me. So what are some signs you may be a basic bitch?

20 Signs You Are A Basic Bitch (According to Idiots on the Planet and Internet)

1. You love Uggs and hoodies.
2. You love Starbucks.
3. You want to visit Paris.
4. You own a cowboy hat or boots.
5. You do yoga and wear yoga pants.
6. You wear underwear from Victoria’s Secret.
7. You use the term “Girl Crush.”
8. You buy MAC makeup.
9. You watch shows like The Real Housewives of (Pick a City) and New Girl.
10. You identify with starlets like Audrey Hepburn, Marilyn Monroe, and Farrah Fawcett.
11. You own something (frames, jewelry, paintings) that have words on it like hope, love, friends forever
12. You claim to be spiritual and not religious.
13. You own something that says “Keep Calm and ______ On.”
14. You check your horoscope and love brunch.
15. You love to bake and make killer cupcakes.
16. You recite inspirational quotes.
17. You get excited about anything pumpkin spice.
18. You make wishes at 11:11 or 12:34.
19. You identify to a Sex and the City character.
20. You quote Mean Girls.

You know what annoys me most about this list (which, by the way, I cross-referenced with multiple sources and people, and the list was solid as a rock)????? That every single one of the qualities a basic bitch possesses I,TOO, POSSESS.

If you know me in the real world you know I am absolutely anything but basic. In fact, that is why this blog is named as it is. I am Kate-tastic. I am not comparable to anyone else and cannot/will not be thought of as basic. I am unique, quirky, ridiculous, lame, happy, and vivacious. Usually not all at once, but I guess that is determined by the amount of coffee I have had. I like things because, well, I like them and have a reason why I like them. P.S. I like lots of things that no one likes and that I get ridiculed for liking.

Let me just run down that basic bitch qualities list again so you know why I like these things (as if you were still thinking I may be “basic”).

1. I love Uggs and hoodies. I wear Uggs because <<NEWSFLASH>> I live in Ohio, and my feet get cold. Also, hoodies are very comfortable, and again, I get cold.

2. I love Starbucks. Yeah, and know what else I love? Dunkin Donuts. WaWa. Gloria Jean’s. Peaberry’s. Mocha House. Folgers. If it is Coffee, I like it. Heck, truth be told I was down with McDonald’s Pumpkin Spice Latte. I just need coffee for survival, ok. Lots of people do.

Starbucks is my Blood type.

Starbucks is my Blood type.

3. I want to visit Paris. Sorry, I love art. Just so happens that there are some cool pieces there. And a bridge I can put a lock on.

4. I own a cowboy hat and cowboy boots. Well, I was a DJ on a country station, I love country music, and I go to concerts. I’m not going to wear Crocs for Pete’s Sake! You dress for the occasion! That’s not basic, that’s being appropriate!

5. I like yoga and yoga pants. Let’s get real…..WHO DOESN’T LIKE YOGA PANTS??? I am learning to like yoga….my goal is to be more flexible, and it helps with stretching my muscles. It’s a health benefit!

Yoga Pants. Glitter. Uggs. My happy place.  Staring at my storage unit.

Yoga Pants. Glitter. Uggs. My happy place.
Staring at my storage unit.

6. I wear underwear from Victoria’s Secret. Yes, yes I do. Because they are the best, they are pretty, and I used to work there so I have been obsessed ever since. Every one should own cute undies, and if you don’t…well, buy some.

7. I use the term “Girl Crush.” I see nothing wrong with this. It’s called being confident enough to admit a woman is beautiful.

8. I buy MAC makeup. Yes, and it’s my favorite. Their lipstick is the best out there, and my lips would be so sad without it.

100% Mac. 100% Amazing.

100% Mac. 100% Amazing.

9. I watch RHOA, RHOBH, RHONY, RHOOC, Real Housewives of Anything! And I love New Girl! The people on the shows are entertaining and they are just humorous.

10.I love Audrey, Marilyn, and Farrah. My car is named Farrah in case you missed it! I think Marilyn and Audrey are timeless beauties, and my favorite quote on this planet is a Marilyn one. #sorrynotsorry that I would rather look to them as cool chicks than wastes like Miley Cyrus.

11. I own a ton of stuff with the word “dream.” I dream big. I am not ashamed of that. Maybe it is nice to have a reminder if you are having a rough day.

12. I am spiritual and not religious. And to be fair, I think anything dealing with religion is personal and no one has a say to judge it or make statements about it.

13. I own something that says “Keep Calm and Sparkle On.” My team is the Sparkle Squad. We believe in leaving a little sparkle wherever we go. It’s a nice reminder that even when times aren’t the best, you’ve got to keep on sparkling.

14. I check my horoscope every single day and think brunch is the greatest thing ever. Brunch menus are always the best (hello, quiche), and I don’t like to get up early, so brunch time is really the perfect time for me to start my day. Horoscopes are just cool…but I only read them at the end of the day so I don’t jinx myself.

15. I love to bake and I make incredible cupcakes. Don’t believe me? Just ask someone about the power of my banana cupcakes. Baking isn’t basic, it’s called being self-sufficient. Plus, homeade is better than store bought stuff! I can’t believe this is even on the list.

16. I recite inspirational quotes. Sure do…..because my job is to inspire and motivate people that need it, and sometimes that person is myself. Please, basic bitch creators, tell me how doing this is “basic.”



17. I get excited about pumpkin spice. HEEELLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. It is delicious. End of story.

18. I make a wish at 11:11. I’m superstitious. So what. You don’t know what I am wishing for….

19. I identify with SATC. This is my favorite show. I know every episode, and can quote it as it is happening. Yes, I identify with the show. And if you are wondering….I’m a Charlotte.

Old school pic of me on Carrie Bradshaw's stoop. Please Note: #Uggstrong

Old school pic of me on Carrie Bradshaw’s stoop.
Please Note: #Uggstrong

20. I quote Mean Girls. Its too classic not to. If you don’t, then Boo, you whore.

I can’t think of anything more derogatory than referring to someone as Basic, so ladies….since so many of you keep calling each other it….and hashtagging it (Bros, you, too), how about you just stop it. People like these things because they are fabulous and wonderful and make the world a happier place. Let people enjoy them.

And if you really think you are basic….

Do something to set yourself apart from the rest.

One thought on “RANT OF THE WEEK: Stop Being Basic!

  1. Whitney B. says:

    You go, Glen Coco!!

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