RANT OF THE WEEK: Parking Lot Creeps!!!!

Yay! It’s the holiday season…which means lots of exciting holiday get togethers, delicious food, beautifully wrapped presents, mistletoe…..

and creepy people in parking lots!!!!!!

One of my favorite places decorated for Christmas…. Love Park in Philly!

One of my favorite places decorated for Christmas…. Love Park in Philly!

Before I get into that, let me state that I really don’t have many complaints around Christmas. I love the holiday! I plan ahead so I don’t really have any issues with the mall crowds since I usually have things taken care of before that madness begins. I’m okay with the chaos that occurs if I do have to stop by the mall or any other retail store. I love get togethers, even if they include hanging with strange people. I find humor in the ridiculously written egotistical Christmas Letters bragging about accomplishments and all that jazz. Really, there are only three things that ruffle my feathers at Christmas:

1) The Elf on a Shelf ( I already went off about this last month, but if you missed it you can read it HERE! )

2. Paul McCartney’s “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time”…worst song ever. I literally go insane when it comes on the radio.

3. Parking Lot Creeps. This brings me to this blog entry.

I am aware that shopping around the Christmas is a little intimidating to people and that many wait until the last possible second to shop, nor do I not dispute the fact that parking lots are beyond ridiculous. However, I get super annoyed when I leave somewhere and attract one of these creeps.

For those of you unsure of who I am calling a creep, let me share my definition. A parking lot creep (aka PLC)  is not a scary looking individual that could potentially kidnap me or hide me in a van full of tear stained mattresses. A PLC comes in many forms. It could be a young teenager blasting Justin Beiber from their Dodge Neon. It could be a soccer mom driving a mini van. It could even be a sweet little old lady. How do you know if YOU are a PLC? Easy. Say you decide to go to the mall and in an effort to secure a parking space near an entrance, you decide to drive around slowly to stalk down any shopper that you see exiting the mall and heading to their cars. You then drive even slower following them to wherever their car may be parked with your turn single on to call dibs on said space. It doesn’t really matter where the parking space may be….I’ve parked in Narnia before and had someone stalk me down for the space.

I get extremely annoyed by these kinds of people. For my readers who unfortunately don’t know me in the real world, I should share with you the fact that I am a little bit of an asshole. However, when I choose to be an asshole, it is intentional, and I am very aware of what I am doing. When a PLC decides to creep on me in a parking lot in an attempt to steal my space, my asshole-meter kicks into high gear. I will walk excessively slow to my car, sometimes do some hamstring stretches before entering my vehicle, seat belt my packages, re-apply lipstick, or simply sit in the car while letting the heater fire up while Snapchatting photos of me laughing to my pals. I WILL NOT give in to anyone stalking me down for my space.

Some of you may think that I should be a little nicer since it is the holiday season, but I can assure you I am a kind soul. I just prefer pulling out of my space and letting some unsuspecting patron who just pulled into the parking lot snap it up. I don’t know about anyone else, but I feel like a rock star when I unexpectedly come across a fabulous parking spot on my own. It’s nice to pass a feeling like that on.

To debunk any myths, no, I myself am not a PLC. If I can’t find a close spot on my own, I have no problem revisiting the parking spots out in Narnia and walking a ways to the entrance of wherever I am going. After all, that’s exercise, and I love any form of it.

Parking Lot Creeps. Don’t be one!

If all else fails, I could always park like this.

If all else fails, I could always park like this.

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