RANT OF THE WEEK: No thanks, Elf.

Those of you who know me had to have known a rant like this was coming at some point. I mean, it is that time of the year.

Before I start this rant, I do feel I need to clarify a few things. I love Christmas…..all things Christmas. I love baking Christmas cookies, decorating with fun Christmas knick knacks, singing Josh Groban Christmas carols, ice skating, drinking my mother’s mulled cider, and wrapping presents with tulle bows that are usually too big. I especially love family traditions and spending time with my loved ones. That’s really what the holidays are about to me.

I have been blessed with the best family. Our holidays growing up were much like they are now: full of love and lots of fun family traditions. One of my favorites was the Advent calendar my brother and I received from my uncle every year that helped us count down with the days until the holiday. Every day we would rush to the calendar to open the little door that would produce an adorable ornament that we would add to our Christmas tree. It was always a surprise as to what the ornament would be, and it forced us to behave. We knew if we didn’t then we wouldn’t get the ornament. I miss those days of the Advent calendar….and I really wish kids these days enjoyed them instead of other things.


http://www.elfontheshelf.com  That's where you can go buy your very own Elf!

That’s where you can go buy your very own Elf!

Let’s get a couple things straight…I think Elf on the Shelf is an excellent marketing gimmick, and I will most likely hop on the Elf train whenever I decide to spawn and my kids are of that age. I don’t hate the concept itself….it makes kids behave, and I like that.

Something else we need to make known: Today is November 17th.

Why, oh why, is the Elf on the Shelf making an appearance in my Facebook newsfeed mid November?????? I’ve seen so many Elf on a Shelf calendars this weekend forecasting the tom foolery about to take place that I can’t even handle it.

My real problem with the Elf comes during its peak season in December. Every single day my newsfeed is flooded with where the Elf was hidden that day around their house. This particularly annoyed me last year to no end. One picture a holiday season is lovely. One picture a day for twenty five straight days from about a hundred people….well, that’s just brutal. My coworkers had to hear me go off on the Elf every single day last year. I’m hoping this doesn’t repeat this year…for their sake.

Last year I did ruffle a few feathers belonging to some of my Elf hiding friends when I decided to share some of my favorite Inappropriate Elf on a Shelf creations. Yes, I am that person.  If someone is going to flood my feed with pictures of an Elf trying to pass a Cheerio off as a Donut, then I feel it is my right to show him doing something ridiculous. Don’t worry…I have found way more inappropriate Elf ideas since last year just waiting to show their face in the event they are needed. I also intend on posting “Shoes on a Shelf” every day in December. You probably care as much about the shoes I wear daily as much as I care about your Elf….which is NOT AT ALL.

Remember, pals…not everyone cares where you hide that damn Elf. Keep that private with your family. Elves are magical creatures that need to remain hidden, especially in my newsfeed.

Tis the Season!

(Also, another clarification…..I only received coal once in my life. ONCE!)


One thought on “RANT OF THE WEEK: No thanks, Elf.

  1. Whitney B. says:

    After the ridiculousness of the last two days, I will forever associate elf on the shelf with you. I cannot wait to see your shoes “fishing” for Goldfish crackers and reading books to other shoes. Excellent idea

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