I’m tired of jerks. Seriously. I feel like everywhere I go someone is doing something jerky. Yes, I am aware that sometimes I am a jerk…..we all are, that’s just life. I think it is safe to say though that when I am a jerk or those I know are, it is usually for a reason…maybe we didn’t get enough sleep, maybe we are just cranky, maybe someone drank all of our coffee.
There is a fine line between being a jerk because you are having a bad day and being just plain hurtful. Especially right now…it is the holiday season and supposed to be a delightful, happy time for so many people. I really try at all times to be courteous to others…you never know what they are going through..but I try super duper hard at the holidays to be kind at all times, regardless of how jerky I want to be. Maybe it is wrong, but I expect it from others as well. It’s just a wonderful feeling knowing that you are a nice person who may brighten someone’s day.
I’ve always loved the holiday season..I have a wonderful family and wonderful traditions this time of year. This holiday is much different though….I’ve had a rough year and knew that it would be a rough holiday. I lost an important piece of my life and who I am this year. In talking with people and reading Facebook updates, it is obvious that many of those in my life have had a difficult year as well. It seems as though many of us have endured losses or things that have changed our lives dramatically. I know I am not alone when I say it will be a rough holiday for us. That is why it is so important to be kind to others…you never know what they have been through or why their eyes are full of sadness.
Or sometimes you do…….and that makes it even more terrible when someone’s jerk side surfaces.
Those who know me know that losing my pug, Simon, this August was by far the most difficult thing that has ever happened to me. It came out of nowhere and really crushed me to a point that I cannot explain. It has been months, and I still cry every day. I know to many people, caring about an animal is stupid to them, but I don’t care. I’ve lost people who have mattered to me in my life, but nothing has ever shaken me to the core like the loss of my little man. For seven years that dog was the most consistent and best part of my life. Animals have an unconditional love that cannot be duplicated by anyone or anything, so if you think I am a loser for still being heartbroken at this loss, then you can just visualize a certain finger extending in your honor. I questioned whether or not I wanted to put up a tree this year because many of the ornaments would remind me of him. I refrained from sending out Christmas cards because, let’s face it, who wants a picture with just me on it? Coming to my parents and knowing his little stocking would not be on mantle made me sick to my stomach.
Yesterday I was excited to get a phone call from a friend who I haven’t talked to in a while….we get so busy that sometimes our only form of communication is a quick Facebook message or text, so it was great to hear her voice and chat for a bit. That is, until she decided to become a Class A Jerk. We were discussing our upcoming holiday plans and the topic of me getting a dog came up. I explained that I wasn’t ready yet and purposely moved into a community where I couldn’t have one. The “friend” then became the “jerk” when she told me that I needed to “get over it and forget about that thing”. This then cascaded into her telling me how I needed to get my priorities in line. Really? Let’s not get confused, “Jerk”. Just because I haven’t rushed to the altar or spit out a couple children in an attempt to gain copious amounts of child support does not mean I do not have my priorities in line. In fact, love is at the top of my priority list. I don’t care if it is an animal, person, fabulous shoe….love is the greatest thing to have as our number one in life. Guess who no longer is on my priority list or any list for that matter?
Remember, friends, this is the time of year to be kind to everyone. You don’t know what others are going through. Maybe you think a lecture based on your ideals is what someone needs, but maybe all that person wants is for a shoulder to lean on or a hug when they are sad. If all else fails, don’t say anything if you think it could possibly hurt someone. Like my mother has always said , “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”
Wishing you all a jerk-free Christmas!